Dilbert.com by Scott Adams

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags dilbert, dogbert, meaning of life, dictionary, expected, thesaurus, hill

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert and Dogbert sit outdoors. Dilbert asks, "Do you ever wonder about the meaning of life, Dogbert?" Dogbert replies, "I used to." Dogbert continues, "But I looked it up in the dictionary under 'L' and there it was - the meaning of life." Dogbert continues, "It was less than I expected." Dilbert asks, "Did you try the thesaurus?"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags dilbert, date, new, system, evaluating, check, boxes, card, night, dinged, point, nervous, twitch, head, block, bucket

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert and a woman sit at a table in a restaurant. The woman says, "I'm using a new system for evaluating my dates. I just check off boxes on this card throughout the night." The woman continues, "There . . . I just dinged you a point for that nervous twitch." The woman asks, "Would you say your head is more like a block or a bucket?"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags blame, budget, dilbert, the boss, empowered, decisions, employees, calculated, risks, new, word

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert stands in front of the Boss's desk and asks, "What did you mean when you said all employees are empowered?" Dilbert continues, "Does that mean I can control my own budget, make decisions without twelve levels of approval, and take calculated risks on my own?" The Boss replies, "No, it's just a way to blame employees for not doing the things we tell them not to do." Dilbert hangs his head and says, "No wonder you needed a new word."