Dilbert.com by Scott Adams

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags dogbert, author, book, signing, autograph, copy, bobby mcnewton, child star, sixties, leave it to beaver, leveraging, fame, promote, recipe, walnuts, milk, pork, pig, corpse, ghost writer

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Transcript

Dogbert walks by a bookstore. A sign in the window says, "Book signing today." A man at a table asks, "Would you like an autographed copy?" Dogbert asks, "Who are you?" The author replies, "I'm Bobby McNewton, child-star from the Sixties. I once had a speaking part on 'Leave it to Beaver.'" Bobby continues, "I'm leveraging my fame to promote my recipe book." The book is titled "Bobby McNewton's Cooking With Walnuts." Dogbert opens the book and reads, "'Walnuts and Milk: Crush walnuts on table. Pour milk on walnuts. Serve cold.'" Dogbert reads, "'Walnuts and Pork: Kill a pig. Cook dead pig. Sprinkle walnuts on pig's corpse.'" Bobby says, "I used a ghost writer." Dogbert asks, "Was he a ghost before he ate your food?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags dilbert, dogbert, reject, generous, company, hostile takeover, formidable, adversary, lawyers, clothes off

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Dilbert says to two attorneys, "I've decided to reject your generous offer to buy the company." Dilbert continues, "And if you try to make this a hostile takeover you will find me to be a formidable adversary." Dilbert arrives at home with his clothes ripped to shreads. Dilbert tells Dogbert, ". . . Then their lawyers chewed my clothes off."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags dilbert, japanese, offer, company, ceo, employees, laid off, accept, neener, dogbert

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A man stands in front of Dilbert's desk and says, "The Japanese have made an offer to buy the company." The man continues, "As CEO you would make $68 million . . . But the employees would all be laid off." Back at home, Dilbert asks Dogbert, "If I accept, what will I say to the employees?" Dogbert replies, "How about 'neener neener?'"