Dilbert.com by Scott Adams

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags dilbert, ceo, diferently, interpret, gesture, mahoney, window

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Dilbert walks down the hall and thinks, "Now that I'm CEO, everybody treats me differently." Dilbert thinks, "They interpret and act upon my slightest gesture. This gesture means 'all is well.'" Behind Dilbert there is a scream and a crash. An employee says, "We tossed Mahoney out the window like you gestured, sir." Dilbert thinks, "Oops."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags dilbert, ceo, superficial, statements, company, lucky, profits, leadership

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Dilbert sits at a big desk and asks an employee, "Now that I'm CEO, what am I supposed to actually do?" The man replies, "You're supposed to make superficial statements about how good the company is, then hope something lucky happens and profits go up." The man continues, "It's called leadership, sir." Dilbert waves the man away and says, "Make it so."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags dilbert, pencil, excalibert, sharpener, corporate, legend, ceo, grovel

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A man says to Dilbert, "You did it! You removed the pencil 'Excalibert' from the sharpener." The caption says, "As corporate legend required, Dilbert became CEO." Dilbert holds Excalibert and three men bow to him. The caption says, "He immediately set about the task of making important decisions." A woman hands Dilbert a list and says, "Here's the list of people who didn't grovel sufficiently."