Dilbert.com by Scott Adams

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags dilbert, dogbert, luck, lemons, lemonade, citrus, allergic, swell, die

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert and Dogbert sit outdoors. Dilbert says, "I have no luck." Dogbert says, "You know what they say, 'If life gives you lemons, make lemonade.'" Dilbert replies, "I'm allergic to citrus." Dogbert says, "You know what they say, 'If life gives you lemons, swell up and die.'"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags dilbert, customers, consultant, tom peters, follows, around, passionate, criticism, splitter, customer

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert sits across from the Boss's desk. The Boss says, "We've got to focus more on the needs of our customers." The Boss points to a man standing next to him and says, "I've hired famous business consultant Tom Peters to follow you around and make passionate criticism." Tom stands behind Dilbert while he works. Tom waves his arms as he asks, "Is this quality? Are you truly focused on the customer?" Dilbert thinks, "Great . . . He's a spitter."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags dilbert, dogbert, high school, yearbook, brings, memories, dopey, noober, flagpole, live, frogs, pants, principal, happiest, guy, ever, known

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert leans against the hassock looking at a yearbook. Dilbert says, "This high school yearbook really brings back the memories." Dilbert shows Dogbert the yearbook and says, "There's Dopey Bobby Noober. Every day we'd tie him to the flagpole and stuff live frogs in his pants." Dogbert asks, "Where is he now?" Dilbert replies, "He's still the principal . . . Not the happiest guy I've ever known."