Dilbert.com by Scott Adams

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags dilbert, helen, man, resume, requested, formula, calculate, ratio, height, baldness, men, different, nights

View Transcript

Transcript

Man: I hope you'll date me now, Helen. I brought my resume as you requested. Helen: There's a little formula I use to calculate the ratio of your earnings potential to your height and baldness... Hmm... You pass. Of course, I'll still date other men too. Man: On different nights?

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags dilbert, sounds, less, million, times, french, short, tempered, mockingly

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert says to a short man, "Hi, Les." Les says, "You say that almost mockingly." Les continues, "The way you say it, my name sounds like 'Less.' I've told you a million times it's French -- pronounced 'Lez.'" Dilbert says, "You seem a little short-tempered." Les says, "Hey! That time you did it on purpose!!"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags dilbert, step, outside, smallish, side, kick, fight, butt, wants, piece, accidentally, soak

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert and some co-workers sit at a conference table. A tiny man says to Dilbert, "I disagree with everything you said. Who wants to step outside and fight about it?!!!" The little man says, "I may be on the smallish side but I can kick any butt in this room!!" The short man continues, "C'mon, who wants a piece of me??!" A woman next to Dilbert whispers, "It's my fault. I accidentally used him to soak up a coffee spill this morning."