Dilbert.com by Scott Adams

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags dilbert, dogbert, hook, vcr, instructions, connect, cables, electrical, engineer

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert says, "Come help me hook up my new VCR, Dogbert." Dilbert kneels next to the television and says, "You read the instructions and I'll connect the cables." Dogbert reads, "'Connect the 300 Ohm twin-lead flat cable to the 75 Ohm RF2 jack.'" Dilbert looks confused. Dogbert continues to read, "'Or use the optional 75 Ohm co-axial cable with the F type connector.'" Dilbert thinks, "Good Lord, I'm an electrical engineer and I don't understand any of this." Dilbert thinks, "I'll have to lie to the other engineers and say I don't WANT to record tv shows." Dogbert reads, "'Now, strip naked, cover your body with motor oil and run through town yelling walla-walla-walla.'" Dilbert says, "Let me see that." Dogbert reads, "'Step six: Do not doubt the nice dog.'"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags dilbert, car, salesman, dogbert, lying, part, crime, pay, retired, readers digest, special, story

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert sits in his chair and Dogbert sits on the hassock. Dogbert says, "I quit my job as a used car salesman." Dilbert asks, "Because you couldn't keep lying?" Dogbert replies, "No, the lying was good. I liked that part." Dilbert asks, "Was it because crime doesn't pay?" Dogbert says, "I made $400,000 this week. I'm retired now." Dilbert says, "I don't think this will ever be a 'Reader's Digest' very special story."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags dogbert, salesman, lawn, apart, spend, scam

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert points to a car and says to a customer, "How about this one?" The man says, "I don't want to spend much. I'm only going to take it apart and leave it on the lawn." The man says, "I gotta be me."