Dilbert.com by Scott Adams

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags dilbert, the boss, illegal, search, car, home, drugs, ethical, problemblood, body, cafeteria

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The Boss says to Dilbert and Wally, "Starting today, the company will begin random drug testing." The Boss continues, "Although it would be illegal to search your car or home for illegal drugs . . ." The Boss concludes, "We have found no ethical problem with sucking the blood out of your body. Results will be posted in the cafeteria."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags dogbert, dilbert, working, encyclopedia, sell, large, profits, write, yourself, abridge, pages, condensed, history, knowledge

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Transcript

Dogbert sits at the desk typing. Dilbert asks, "What are you working on?" Dogbert replies, "I'm writing my own encyclopedia to sell for large profits." Dilbert asks, "How could you write an entire encyclopedia by yourself?" Dogbert replies, "It's abridged. I had to cut some corners to get it all in five pages." Dilbert says, "Five pages?! You condensed the history and knowledge of the world into five pages?!!" Dogbert replies, "Actually, it's mostly about me . . . The other stuff didn't seem important." Dogbert continues, "But I threw in some stuff about Canada to make it seem thorough." Dilbert reads, "'Canada has trees.'" Dogbert says, "I'll have to tighten that section a bit."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags english, teacher, woman, dogbert, park bench, neighbors, park, outside

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Dilbert sits on a park bench next to a woman who says, "Up I hicc!" The woman repeats, "Up I hicc!" The woman repeats, "Up I hicc! Up I hicc!" Dogbert thinks, "English teacher."