Dilbert.com by Scott Adams

Pre Meeting

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Pre Meeting - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags managers & supervisors, meeting, pre-meeting, canceled, sarcasm, business, reality

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boss: we canceled the meeting because we couldn't find a time for the pre-meeting to prepare for the meeting. dilbert: doesn't the pre-meeting need it's own pre-meeting? boss: good point. dilbert: sarcasm and reality have become one.

Searching On A Phone

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Searching On A Phone - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags office workers, communication, phone, protocol, task, rude, technology, insult, fake

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tina: i have something funny to show you. just give me a minute to find it on my phone. dilbert thinking: what's the protocol in this situation? should i just sit here and stare at her pawing at her phone? i can't talk because she's focused on her task. and it would be rude to walk away. would it be an insult to look at my own phone and mentally check out from this useless interaction? tina: ah! i found it! dilbert: okay, good. tina: wait, that's not the right one. dilbert: is this why people fake their own deaths?

Employee Engagement Survey

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Employee Engagement Survey - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags managers & supervisors, underpay, senior, management, accurate, information, engagement, survey, important, underpaid

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boss: all out the employee engagement survey and make sure you lie like crazy. i don't want any accurate information to bubble up to senior management. dilbert: i've never felt less important. boss: good. that's why i can underpay you.