Dilbert.com by Scott Adams
Tuesday September 25,
1990
Tags dilbert, grief, scum, caskets, newspapers, denial, anger, economics
Transcript
The caption says, "The three stages of grief; denial." Dogbert sits on his pillow thinking, "No . . . Dilbert can't be dead." The caption says, "Anger." Dogbert stands on his pillow and thinks, "I'll kill the scum who did it!" The caption says, "Economics." Dogbert says into the phone, "No expensive caskets. Just wrap him in newspapers; he would have wanted it that way."
Monday September 24,
1990
Tags dogbert, cop, dilbert, hunted, killed, wild, deer, fingerprints, evidence
Transcript
Dogbert answers the front door and asks, "Yes?" A police officer says, "Mr. Dogbert, I have bad news." The policeman continues, "It appears that Dilbert was hunted down and killed by wild deer." The officer continues, "We think it was a professional job; they didn't leave fingerprints."
Sunday September 23,
1990
Tags dilbert, dogbert, procedures, rules, unmanageable, interactions, request, additional, food, p-39, liquids
Transcript
Dilbert tells Dogbert, "I've decided we need more structure in this household." Dilbert continues, "Things are out of control . . . We have no procedures . . . No rules . . . It's totally unmanageable." Dilbert points to a file cabinet and continues, "That's why I've developed a set of forms to guide our daily interactions." Dilbert continues, "For example, this P-38 form is a request for additional food." Dilbert continues, "The P-39 is for liquids and the P-40 is a convenient way to request both food and liquids." Dogbert says, "Give me a P-39 form . . . I'm a little dry." Later, Dogbert hands Dilbert the form and says, "Under 'purpose for distribution' I put 'thirsty.' I hope that's right." Dilbert writes on the form and says, "Request denied . . . You used an outdated form."


