Dilbert.com by Scott Adams

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags dilbert, elbonia, capitalism, computer, chips, industrial, giant, management, techniques

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Dilbert arrives at home and tells Dogbert, "My trip to Elbonia was a complete success." Dilbert continues, "I opened our subsidiary, taught capitalism to the locals and showed them how to make computer chips out of sand." Dogbert replies, "Oh great . . . Now they will become an industrial giant and compete against us." Dilbert says, "Don't worry. I also taught them our management techniques."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags dilbert, elbonian, capitalism, incentive, twelve hourse, rich, tv shows, millionaire's, life

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Dilbert says to a group of Elbonians, "The first thing you Elbonians must understand about capitalism is the incentive system." Dilbert continues, "If you're willing to work twelve hours a day, eventually the guy who owns your factory will get rich." An Elbonian asks another, "Am I missing something here?" Dilbert continues, "Then you guys get to watch great tv shows based on the millionaire's life!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags dilbert, bizarre, dream, cheerleading, outfit, glue, miniature, horses, married, pressure

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Dilbert sees a woman and thinks, "Oh no, it's Helena. I had a bizarre dream about her last night." Helena says, "Hi, Dilbert." Dilbert thinks, "I'm always afraid that somehow people know when they've been in my dream." Helena says, "Gee . . . Seeing you reminds me of something . . . But I can't quite put my finger on it . . ." Helena continues, "Hmm . . . It was something bizarre." Dilbert thinks, "She knows." Beads of sweat fly off his forehead. Dilbert covers his eyes and cries, "Stop it! Stop it! I'm sorry I made you wear a cheerleading outfit and glue miniature horses to the couch!!" Dilbert says, "There - it's out. The pressure is lifted . . . I can live again . . ." Helena says, "Oh, now I remember -- I was wondering why you've never been married. But now I understand."