Dilbert.com by Scott Adams
Sunday December 17,
1989
Tags dilbert, phone, answering machine, greeting message, demonstration, dogbert, demonstrating
Transcript
Dilbert tells Dogbert, "I bought a phone answering machine." Dogbert asks, "Was the phone asking you questions you couldn't answer on your own?" Dilbert says, "The hard part is thinking of a greeting message." Dilbert says into the answering machine, "Hi. This is Dilbert. I'm not here right now." Dilbert says, "Well, technically I am here 'now' . . ." Dilbert says, "But 'now' is a relative term, so use your best judgment in deciding whether I'm here." Dilbert says, "Hmm . . . That was actually a creative little message." Dogbert says, "Demonstrating, once again, that subtle difference between creativity and complex stupidity."
Saturday December 16,
1989
Tags dogbert, television, natural, phenomenon, ancient, astronauts, topics
Transcript
Dogbert sits on the hassock watching television. The voice on the tv says, "Dust. Where does it come from? How does it get under your bed?" The announcer continues, "Is it a natural phenomenon or a message to ancient astronauts?" The announcer continues, "Tomorrow on 'Geraldo,' 'Dust: What's It All Mean?" Dogbert says, "It means you're pretty much out of topics."
Friday December 15,
1989
Tags dilbert, abuse, skunk, cats, fear, response, ice cream
Transcript
Dilbert is threatened by an abusive skunk. Skunk: That's right: A big bowl of ice cream could keep me from being afraid and reflexively spraying your living room. Dilbert: This is blackmail! Skunk: My goodness, no. It's just that I can't control my fear response. Now I'm afraid that you won't sing the songs from "cats," while I eat.


