Dilbert.com by Scott Adams

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags dilbert, dogbert, flies, dolphins, killing, aspca

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Dilbert kills a fly with a fly swatter. Dogbert asks, "Why is it okay to kill flies but not okay to kill dolphins?" Dogbert continues, "Is the poor fly any less deserving of our respect and protection?" Dilbert raises the fly swatter and says, "Hold still . . . There's a dolphin on your forehead." Dogbert says, "I've added the A.S.P.C.A. to our speed dialer."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags dogbert, dilbert, cds, account, push-ups, exercise, glasses, david packard, bank, bank account

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Dilbert says, "They were rude to me at the bank again, Dogbert." Dilbert points to the door and says, "I've had enough . . . Sic 'em, boy!!" Dogbert walks into the bank. Dogbert tells a woman, "Hi. I'm David Packard; billionaire founder of Hewlett-Packard." Dogbert sits at the woman's desk and continues, ". . . And I'd like to put all of my money into one of your non-interest bearing accounts." The woman replies, "You're not David Packard. You're just a dreadful little dog with glasses." The woman says, "Then again . . . I've never seen a picture of David Packard . . . I'd better open the account." Dogbert says, "Very good. Now give me fifty push-ups or I'll take my business elsewhere."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags dogbert, dilbert, gene, scientists, plaid, science, updates

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Dilbert and Dogbert sit at a table. Dogbert says, "Scientists have discovered the gene that makes some people love golf." Dilbert asks, "How can they tell it's the golf gene?" Dogbert answers, "It's plaid and it lies." Dilbert says, "I probably shouldn't rely on you for my science updates."