Dilbert.com by Scott Adams

Toxic Employee

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Toxic Employee - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, employees

View Transcript

Transcript

boss: i hired a toxic employee to keep the rest of you on your toes. if you utter one wrong word, this thing will report you to human resources. dilbert: what gender is it? toxic employee: stop hitting on me.

Can't Succeed Within The Rules

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Can't Succeed Within The Rules - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, failure, managers & supervisors, rules, success

View Transcript

Transcript

dilbert: if i follow all of our internal rules, my project will fail because of delays. and if i don't follow the rules, you will fire me. what should i do? boss: i like the option where the project is a success but you're a failure.

Bad Hair Day

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Bad Hair Day - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags angry, boss, employees, employment, hair, hairstyles, meetings, threat, warning

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Alice, why aren't you at this meeting? Alice: I'm having a bad hair day. Boss: That's no reason to miss a meeting! Alice: You don't understand. It's really, really bad. Boss: Come to the meeting right now, or you're fired! Gurk! Dilbert: That's bad hair. Alice: Can't say I didn't warn him.