Dilbert: I can't get my five-year projections to match what you told the board.
Boss: Try tweaking the variables until they do.
Dilbert: That would make me a liar.
Boss: Nah. In five years it will look like ordinary stupidity.
Ted: As you can see from this chart, our product has been rated number one for six years in a row.
Dilbert: Why does your chart stop four years ago?
Ted: I'll bet you don't get invited to a lot of parties.
Dilbert: That's just a lucky guess.
Dilbert: Did you approve my budget request?
Boss: No, you used the old form.
Dilbert: Do we have new forms?
Boss: In hindsight, we should have funded the creation of new budget request forms before we made the old ones obsolete.