Dilbert.com by Scott Adams

Horse Blinders

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Horse Blinders - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags communication, employees, office, office workers, work

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Dilbert: I added horse blinders to my noise-cancellation headphones. You tried to ruin my productivity by moving to an open office plan, but I have thwarted your evil ambitions. Boss: Experts say the open plan is better for communication. Dilbert: Are you talking? I can't tell.

Keeping The Worthless People

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Keeping The Worthless People - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags boss, employees, managers & supervisors, salary, incompetence

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Boss: I've noticed that 20% of my employees do 80% of the work around here. But I need to keep all of the worthless employees because my pay is based on how many people report to me. Catbert: Doesn't their incompetence bother you? Boss: Not since I found a way to get paid for it.

Jargon

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Jargon - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags confusion, employees, irritation, language, meetings, sarcasm

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Man: This was a great meeting. Are there any questions? Dilbert: I didn't understand any of the jargon you used for the past hour, so I have no idea what this meeting was about. Man: Why didn't you say something sooner? Dilbert: That's a good strategy for people who have hope.