Dilbert: I took over Ted's software project. Everything he did was inefficient and stupid. Okay, we're done here. I'm checking you off my list.
Alice: How many people are you complaining to?
Dilbert: I trimmed the list to three hundred.
Boss: I want you to take over Ted's software upgrade. Can you finish that in a week?
Dilbert: Are you kidding? It will take a week just to bad-mouth his existing code to everyone within walking distance.
Boss: Is that part necessary?
Dilbert: Like water to a fish.
Dilbert: I need a more ergonomic office chair.
Boss: Let me check the budget. Hmm...nope. We don't have a budget for making whiny employees happy.
Dilbert: My current chair hurts my back.
Boss: It's no picnic for the chair either.