Dilbert.com by Scott Adams
Thursday July 05,
2018
Contractor Wants To Be Employee
Tags negotiation, contract work, contractor, pay.wages
Transcript
Man: I've been a contractor here for over a year. Maybe you should just hire me. Boss: Who are you? I didn't even know I was paying you. Man: Perhaps we can pretend this conversation never happened. Boss: That feels like the best option.
Wednesday July 04,
2018
Reducing Headcount By Attrition
Tags big business, injury, layoff, osha, safety
Transcript
CEO: We need to reduce headcount, but we plan to do it by attrition. We're loosening our safety standards and letting nature do the rest. Voice: Gaaa!!! Ouch!!! CEO: You might want to keep your headphones on for a week or so.
Tuesday July 03,
2018
Dilbert And Monkeys
Tags motivation, work ethic, engagement, monkeys
Transcript
Dilbert: I don't feel my job is helping me reach my human potential. Boss: We only pay you because monkeys are hard to train and robots are expensive. Dilbert; Maybe I'll just play with my phone and pretend to work. Boss: That's what got the monkey fired.


