Dilbert.com by Scott Adams

We Need To Talk

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
We Need To Talk - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags contradiction, argument, disagreement

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: The software upgrade will be ready by Friday. Dilbert: Actually, that's when we will start writing it. Boss: And it will save us twenty million dollars. Dilbert: Actually, it will cost a million dollars and save nothing. Boss: We need to talk. Dilbert: We do? I'm not feeling that.

Negotiating Expert

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Negotiating Expert - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags consultant, negotiation, training, irony, obliviousness, business

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: I hired a consultant to teach us how to negotiate. Normally, he charges triple the market rate, but I talked him down to double. Wally: Where is he? Boss: He said he's teaching us what happens when there's no performance clause in a contract.

Dogbert Will Start Monday Or Tuesday

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Dogbert Will Start Monday Or Tuesday - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags negotiation, irony, appointment, deadline, consultant, training, business

View Transcript

Transcript

Narrator: Dogbert The Negotiation Trainer. Boss: We'll see you on Monday for our first lesson. Dogbert: Sure. I'll see you on Monday or Tuesday. Possibly Wednesday. Boss: We paid you to start on Monday. Dogbert: Think how much you'll learn when I don't show up.