Dilbert.com by Scott Adams

Bad Analogies

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Bad Analogies - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags ideas, criticism, critique, simile, language

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Man: Your idea is awful. Dilbert: Can you explain your reasons without using an absurd analogy? Man: It's like a pregnant squirrel eating a sandwich. Dilbert: I'll take that as a no.

Directionally Accurate

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Directionally Accurate - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags projections, budget, finance, math, excuse, compliment, accuracy, education, money

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Boss: Are you confident in your financial projections? Wally: They're directionally accurate. Boss: Your columns don't even add up. Wally: Why is it so hard for you to give a compliment?

Boss Is Sane

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Boss Is Sane - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags mental health, mental illness, managers, sane, insanity, logic

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Narrator: Dogbert The Mental Health Expert. Boss: Can you confirm that my employees have lost their minds? Dogbert: Yes, because they work for you. Any other questions? Boss: But I'm sane, right? Dogbert: Yes, because you hired me.