Dilbert.com by Scott Adams

Blamecatcher

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Blamecatcher - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags blame, scapegoat, failure, excuse

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Boss: I'm assigning you to a project that is co-managed by vice presidents who hate each other. Dilbert; Why do they want me to work on a project that is clearly doomed? Boss: They said something about a "blamecatcher."

Pat Yourself On The Head

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Pat Yourself On The Head - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags reward, prizes, reimbursement, expense report

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Boss: I'm naming you employee of the month. Your prize is twenty dollars cash and a pat on the head. Give yourself twenty dollars and submit an employee reimbursement request. Dilbert: Can I pat myself on the head, too? Boss: I was hoping you would offer.

Ceo Makes More Money In Stocks

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Ceo Makes More Money In Stocks - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags rich people, money, stock market, investments, out of touch, obliviousness, stratification

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CEO: Hey, our stock is up two percent. I just made more money than you'll earn in your entire life. Remind me, do I leave you a tip?