Boss: I wrecked my car because I was responding to your urgent text. For the third time in a row. Carol: What are you implying? Boss: Are you trying to kill me? Carol: I blame your bad judgment.
Carol: Hold on, I have to text my boss while he's driving. I'll say it's a crisis so he has to text back. Dilbert: Is it legal to kill him that way? Carol: Yes, I checked with a lawyer first.
Dilbert: I saw your email about destroying the company. Boss: Huh? The only email I sent you was my strategy for the coming year. Dilbert: Well, maybe I read it too fast.