Dilbert.com by Scott Adams

Dilbert Will Not Babysit

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Dilbert Will Not Babysit - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags psychology, trick, deception, adoption, babysitter, babysitting

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Carol: Uh-oh. My babysitter canceled for tonight. Dilbert: Too bad. Carol: Hey, I have an idea. Do you like kids? Dilbert: I will not watch your kids tonight. Carol: I was going to ask you to adopt them. Dilbert: Absolutely not. The best I can do is watch them tonight.

Trust Yet Verify

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Trust Yet Verify - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags philosophy, philosopher, oxymoron, micromanaging

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Boss: I believe in the old Ronald Reagan saying that you should "trust, but verify." That's why I empower you, yet I micromanage. Alice: What the...? Boss: Don't hate me for being philosophical.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags intelligence, insult, healing, doctor, ego, medical

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Boss: My doctor says he's never seen anyone heal as quickly as me. Dilbert: What do you suppose that means? Boss: Obviously it means I am genetically gifted. Dilbert: Is that the only explanation? Boss: Well, maybe ten percent of it is because of good medical care. Dilbert: Can you think of any other reason at all? Alice: Doctors tell idiots their bodies are magic because it makes them feel special. Dilbert: He would have gotten there. Alice: I don't have that kind of time.