Dilbert.com by Scott Adams

That's Motivation Not Stalking

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That's Motivation Not Stalking - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags compliment, managers, jargon, sincerity, insincere, motivation, motivate, annoyance, frustration

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Boss: Alice, you're doing a great job and the company values you. Alice: Your insincere management babble is making me uncomfortable. Boss: That's motivation you're feeling. Alice: I'm getting more of a stalker vibe.

Forgetting Meetings

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Forgetting Meetings - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags appointment, absent mindedness, forgetting, therapy, irony, psychology, psychiatry

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Dilbert: Do you ever have anxiety because you feel like you're supposed to be in a meeting that you forgot? Alice: You should see a doctor about that. Dilbert: I already made... uh-oh. Alice: Was the appointment for today? Dilbert: An hour ago.

Why All The Women Leave

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Why All The Women Leave - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags women, technology, quitting, repulsion, standards, gender, hiring, sabotage

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Boss: Why do all of the women I hire quit within the first week? Wally: I'm guessing they have high standards, or something along those lines. Boss: They seem to quit soon after they meet you. Wally: Hypothesis confirmed.