Dilbert.com by Scott Adams

Team Interview

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Team Interview - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags hiring, managers, interviews, employment, honesty, candor, warning

View Transcript

Transcript

Team Interview. Dilbert: To be perfectly honest, Bob, you are unqualified to work here. Bob: Your boss already hired me. He told me to talk to you so you'd feel included in the decision. Wait... did I miss a huge red flag? Dilbert: We all did. Welcome to the team.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags jargon, techspeak, nonsense, bluff, deception, conversation, language

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Wally, did you Uberize the slide deck? Wally: I harmonized it in the cloud. Boss: Are we ready for a trans-domain kick-off? Wally: I put a disruptive mesh network in the microservices of the Internet of things. Boss: Will that be good enough to "ask the fridge" or do I need to start disintermediating? Wally: It depends on if we have enough bandwidth to growth-hack the analytics. Boss: I just hope our clicks-and-mortar strategy staircases. Dilbert: I'm almost certain that was nonsense. Wally: Sometimes it's about the journey.

Alice's List

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Alice's List - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags society, murder, violence, law, enemy, revenge, apocalypse

View Transcript

Transcript

Alice: Looks like I'll be adding this guy to my list. Dilbert: List? Alice: I keep a list of who to visit first when society breaks down and there is no rule of law. Dilbert: To build alliances? Alice: That's the sort of optimism that gets you killed in the first hour.