Dilbert.com by Scott Adams
Sunday November 15,
2015
Tags management, strategy, productivity, humane, inhumane, treatment, surveillance, watching, privacy, work, office workers
Transcript
Boss: We are going to start monitoring employee productivity in real time. Any questions? Dilbert: I need one clarification. Are you saying you removed the last shred of human dignity from our jobs and reduced us to nothing but a meat machine that suffers in a state of perpetual inadequacy as each person is compared to an arbitrary and ever-growing goal until there is no realistic way for the employee to find happiness through natural means? Boss: That's one way to look at it.
Saturday November 14,
2015
It's Easier If We Don't Try To Link Performance And Outcomes
Tags performance, reward, consequences, consequence, result, outcome, logic, reasoning, laziness, work ethic
Transcript
Boss: So don't let that happen again. Dilbert: It wasn't my fault and you know it. Boss: It's easier if we don't try to link performance and outcomes. Dilbert: I'll try. It was hard at first, but now I'm totally stress-free. Wally: I just got a 30% raise.
Friday November 13,
2015
Clarifying Our Strategies
Tags jargon, speaking, confusion, language, obliviousness, managers, fake, faking
Transcript
Boss: I hope that clarifies our strategy. Questions? Dilbert: From what you said, I can't tell if we're in the hardware or software business. Boss: We're B-to-B. Dilbert: How much do you with that meant something?

