Dilbert.com by Scott Adams

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags distraction, distractions, frustration, futility, meeting, meetings, stress, walk, walking, phone calls, email, sports, business

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Boss: Let's have our meeting while we take a walk. Dilbert: Absolutely. Shall I expect the usual? Boss: The usual? Dilbert: The first five minutes will be nothing but you trying to find your phone. Then you'll need to return some calls "real quick," then send an email before we leave. On the way to the elevator we will be accosted by every employee you've been avoiding for a week. Then you'll invite one of them to walk with us, which means we can't talk about my project. But it doesn't matter because you'll be on your phone the entire walk anyway. Asok: Did you know that walking lowers stress? Dilbert: Does it?!!

Ceo Understands Wally

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Ceo Understands Wally - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags buzzwords, deception, economists, economy, jargon, chief economist, quarter, exchange rate, derivatives, yen, monetary policy

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Boss: Our new Chief Economist, Wally, will tell us what to expect in the coming quarter. Wally: The exchange rate on derivatives will trigger a bubble in monetary policy and deflate the yen. CEO: I totally understand that and have no questions.Boss: Wow! He's good.

Wally Won't Oversupply Wisdom

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Wally Won't Oversupply Wisdom - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags economist, promotion, jargon, babble, deception, smart people, obliviousness

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Boss: Our CEO wants to promote you to Chief Economist because nothing you say makes sense. He thinks that's the sign of a great economist. Wally: It totally is. Boss: Say something smart. Wally: Whoa! I don't want to create an oversupply of wisdom.