Dilbert.com by Scott Adams

Hiring A Co Ceo

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Hiring A Co Ceo - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags ceos, executives, wages, work ethic, co ceo, break tie, manioulate, pay, hire, split salary, money

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CEO: I decided to hire a co-CEO to share the job with me. Dilbert: I assume you know that having a co-CEO does not mean you get paid the same while working half as much. CEO: Can I fire you? Co-CEO: No, we need a third CEO to break the tie.

Memorial Service For Ted

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Memorial Service For Ted - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags funerals, memorial, cake, ballons, tasteful, mime, pretend, invisible box, hire entertainment, clueless

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Boss: I need you to organize some sort of memorial thing for Fred. Carol: You mean Ted. Boss: I'm thinking cake and balloons in the break room. Is that tasteful enough? Carol: I could hire a mime to pretend he's in an invisible box.

We Will Never Forget Ted

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We Will Never Forget Ted - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags coworker, coworkers, death, tributes, morning, beloved collegue, never forget, medical

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Boss: We mourn the untimely passing of our beloved colleague, Fred. We will never forget him. Dilbert: It was Ted, not Fred. Boss: Was he beloved? Wally: I don't remember. It was like a week ago.