Boss: Our officers came up with a new company slogan after two weeks at a retreat. The new slogan is "Shtop spitting ahn me when you talk!" We believe alcohol was involved.
Catbert: Your management style has caused a black hole to form. Boss: Is it dangerous? Catbert: No to us. It only absorbs important emails from employees. And en employee named Ted, apparently.
JOB INTERVIEW
Boss: So... what do you like to do in your spare time? Interviewee: Um... I visit orphanages and give back rubs to babies.
Boss: Maybe you should have practiced for that question.
Interviewee: And I bike there because I'm so green.