Dilbert.com by Scott Adams

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags meetings, telephones, work ethic, teleconference, phone on mute, nap, weaselable

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Coworker: Can you attend our Tuesday meeting? Wally: I'll teleconference. Coworker: That will make me wonder if you called in, put your phone on mute, and took a nap. Wally: We useless people call that weaselable doubt.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags competition (psychology), elevators, fear, elevator, confrontation, threat, ceo, underling, power tripping

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CEO: Here's the hotshot that everyone says will someday take my job. I'm going to mentor you so hard your intestines will end up in your skull. Wally: I just figured out why people use the stairs.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags baby, falls, game, management fast track, money, money bags, punch wessel, rescuing plastic baby, test, weasel, greed, failed test

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Catbert: Your first test on the management fast track involves rescuing a plastic baby and a bag of money from a weasel. You must punch the weasel then catch the money and the baby before they reach the ground. I found our next CEO. Wally: Wait...say this instructions again.