Dilbert.com by Scott Adams

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags annoyance, bullying co workers, friendly suggestions, looks like bullying, schedule time, waste time

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Catbert: I got a report that you've been bullying co-workers. Dilbert: That's dumb. I make friendly suggestions about how people could waste less of my time and it looks like bullying. Catbert: Let's schedule a time to talk more about this. Dilbert: Or-- just a friendly suggestion-- you could not waste my freakin' time.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags anger, meetings, more assertive, wishing death, dial back, shouting, miserable

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Boss: Asok, I need to teach you to be more assertive in meetings. Asok: You're a miserable human being and I hope you die in a long, painful way! Boss: Dial it back a little. Asok: I hope you die quickly?

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags christmas, christmas presents, absolutely nothing, guilty, nothing to unwrap, clutter, return, assemble, holiday

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Dogbert: Merry Christmas. I got you the gift of absolutely nothing. Nothing to unwrap, nothing to clutter the house, nothing to return, nothing to assemble, and not a single thing to feel guilty about. Dilbert: You totally get me. Dogbert: It was the least I could do.