Dilbert.com by Scott Adams

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags meetings, marketing plan, consumers, research is stupid, opposed to science, rational thinking, manifestaions, pendantic, semantics, stopped talking

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Boss: ... and that's our marketing plan for the coming year. Dilbert: Research shows that consumers reject this sort of approach. Boss: Research is stupid. Dilbert: Are you saying the studies on this particular topic are flawed? Or are you just generally opposed to science, rational thinking, and all manifestations of common sense. Boss: Stop being pedantic with your semantics. Catbert: Did you get buy-in? Boss: Yes, in the sense that they stopped talking.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags frustration, managers & supervisors, performance review, perfromance review, 9 months late, business

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Boss: I finished your performance review. Alice: Terrific. It's nine months late and all you did was sign what I wrote. Boss: I think I also read it, but I'm not 100% positive.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags inventions, robot, telepresence, commute, multitasking, new technology, rough patches, meat bags

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Asok: Here comes Wally's telepresence robot. Robot: How was your commute, suckers?!!! Ha ha ha ha! I'm multitasking in ways that might surprise you! Dilbert: New technology always has rough patches. Robot: Open that door for me, meat bags!