Dilbert.com by Scott Adams

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags big business, meetings, succession plan, awesome and charismatic, replace you, bag of moss

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CEO: We need a succession plan. I'm so awesome and charismatic that the company would be in trouble if I were to leave. Alice: I wouldn't worry about it. It's not as if you invented anything. We could replace you with a bag of moss. Dilbert: He got quiet. Alice: See? Moss can totally do that.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags boredom, despair, subject matter expert, judging book

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Man: Everyone, this is Wally. He's our subject matter expert. Voices: Groan. Uh-oh. Sheesh. Oh well. Ugh. Wally: People are better than you'd think at judging a book by its cover.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags computers & peripherals, internet & world wide web, down load apps, new phone, primary job, formulas in excel

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Boss: Can you show me how to download apps on my new phone? Dilbert: I could... but that would take time away from my primary job of showing you how to do formulas in Excel. Apparently the eight times I already taught you weren't enough. Boss: I don't use Excel often enough to remember from one time to the next. Dilbert: How often do you expect to download apps? Boss: It's hard to say. I just know I want all of them. How many are there? Dilbert: Four.