Dilbert.com by Scott Adams

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags big business, business ethics, class, more efficient, government contract, stuffed deer

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Dilbert: This class will make me more efficient. Boss: I don't want you to be more efficient. You're working on a government contract and billing by the hour. Now go bill them for the time you stood here and stared at me like a stuffed deer.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags big business, business ethics, career path, warn you, maximum career potential, less embarrassing car, ne wocmpany, ceo, huge nbonus, conversation

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Dilbert: I'd like to talk about my career path. Boss: Are you sure? Dilbert: Um... yes. I'm sure. Boss: Don't say I didn't warn you. You're within 20% of your maximum career potential. Your future will be just like the present, except you'll be older and you might own a less-embarrassing car. If you go to a new company, you'll like it at first. But in time you'll realize every place is the same. Dilbert: Gaaa!! Take back the truth!1 Lie to me! Boss: Maybe someday our CEO will make such a huge bonus that he'll want to share some of it with you. Dilbert: I hate! Boss: Hey, I'm the guy who tried to spare you from this conversation.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags customer survey data, marketing, design, engineering secret, business

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The customer survey data is for marketing eyes only. design the next release and we'll tell you if its what everyone wanted. How long will it take? Dilbert: Thats an engineering secret.