Dilbert.com by Scott Adams

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags farmers & farm workers, work ethic, manage issues, align org. activities, stakeholder, real work, farm

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Wally sys, "Should I continue to manage issues?" Wally says, "Or should I align organizational activities with stakeholder expectations?" The Boss says, "Which answer would cause you to do real work?" Wally says, "What is this, a farm?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business ethics, environmental issues, managers & supervisors, government nagging, rid of waste, motivational paper weight, nice going, avoid licking, business

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The Boss says, "The government is nagging us to get rid of our dangerous radioactive waste." The Boss says, "On a totally different topic, I'm giving each of you a motivational paperweight that says, 'Nice going.'" The Boss says, "Try to avoid licking them."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags afterlife, death & dying, international economic integration, secure a long term supply, rare earth, metal, rare earth metals, dying, reincarnating, 20% chance, born chinese

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The Boss says, "Our consultant will tell us how we can secure a long-term supply of rare earth metals for our products." The Boss says, "China has the most of the rare earth metals. Try dying. And reincarnating. There's a 20% chance that you'll be born Chinese." The Boss says, "What's plan B?" Dogbert says, "If the only part that goes wrong is the Chinese part, you can try dying again."