Dilbert.com by Scott Adams

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags meeting, schedule, conference room, boss, yell, angry, tie up, pointy hair, business

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss says, "I need this room for my meeting." Dilbert says, "Wouldn't it make more sense for you to get a different room since we're already here?" The Boss says, "All of the conference rooms are booked." Dilbert says, "Okay, then I guess we should compare the importance of your meeting versus this one." The Boss says, "That's not how it works." The Boss says, "Conference rooms go to the highest ranked manager." Dilbert says, "It took me months to schedule this meeting!" The Boss says, "Scram." The Boss says, "The goal of this meeting is to figure out why nothing ever gets done around here."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags frankenstein, human resources, focus group, scared, angry, fire marshal, economy, job market, business

View Transcript

Transcript

Catbert says, "We need someone to run focus groups about our existing products." Frankenstein says, "What is a focus group?" Catbert says, "In our case, it's like mob of angry villagers armed with sharp pens." Catbert says, "And you'd also be the fire marshal for the floor. Are you in?" Catbert says, "Yeah. It's a tough job market."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags cleaning, janitor, crime scene, overalls, shut down, assistant, ratbert, human body parts, recycling bins, frankenstein

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss says, "We need to shut down our crime scene cleaning division." The Boss says, "Apparently your assistant, Ratbert, has been putting human remains in the recycling bins." Dilbert says, "That's a harmless mistake. What's the worst thing that could happen?"