Dilbert.com by Scott Adams

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags plan, transfer, missile guidance engineering division, pour coffee, face front, unimportant tasks, destroy, fishing village, lazy

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally says, "I asked for a transfer to our missile guidance engineering division." Wally says, "Once they get to know me, they'll only give me unimportant tasks so I won't accidentally destroy a fishing village." Wally says, "The great thing about unimportant tasks is that no one really cares if you do them."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags training, new software, trick, hire, job opening, interview, technical expert, provide

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert says, "I need training to use our new software." The Boss says, "Pretend we have a job opening for a technical expert in that field. Then ask applicants how they would do whatever it is that you need to do." Man says, "Does you company provide training?" Dilbert says, "'Provide' is a strong word."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags feedback, website design, computer, eyes wide, psychopath, photo wall, toe fungus, despair, yell, mouth open, scared, pain, satan, licking, brain, tone down, hair stand up, technology

View Transcript

Transcript

Tina says, "I need your honest feedback on our new website design." Asok says, "The layout looks like a psychopath's photo wall. The colors remind me of toe fungus and despair." Tina says, "I'll say, 'needs work.'" Asok says, "It feels like Satan is licking my brain!"