Dilbert.com by Scott Adams

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags human resources, evil director, meeting, leadership, empty promises, imaginary, work, weekend, promoted, business

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Catbert: Evil Director of Human Resources Catbert says, "Leadership is the art of trading imaginary things in the future?" Catbert says, "For real things today." Catbert says, "If you work all weekend, you might be promoted someday, if there's ever an opening... and no one else is more qualified."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags human resources, evil director, employee, morale, high, happy, overpaid, nature, yell, clouds, unhappy, hands clasped, business

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Catbert: Evil Director of Human Resources Catbert says, "I'm getting reports that your morale is too high." Catbert says, "Happiness is nature's way of informing human resources that you're overpaid." Employee says, "Nature wants me to be unhappy?" Catbert says, "Don't blame me. Go yell at the clouds."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags meeting, work, lazy, update software, computer, reboot, endless cycle, drink coffee, optimism, past, waste time, technology, business

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Wally says, "Every time I update my software, it tells me I have to reboot." Wally says, "And every time I reboot, I get another message to update something else. It's all I've been doing since October." The Boss says, "But you worked in September, right?" Wally says, "I admire your optimism about the past."