Dilbert.com by Scott Adams

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags meeting, marketing department, robust, products, confused, clueless, useful, argue, stupid, etiquette & ethics, waste time, business

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert says, "The marketing department has asked us to make our products more robust." Dilbert says, "None of us knows what that means." Dilbert says, "So we can either cancel this meeting and go ask them?" Dilbert says, "Or we can pretend that arguing with each other about the true meaning of 'robust' is just as good." Dilbert says, "While that option is stupid, it would give us the illusion of doing something useful right now." Asok says, "Would it be ethical to ignore the long-term interests of stockholders just ot feel good about ourselves for a few minutes?" Dilbert says, "I think robust means it has lots of features." Wally says, "It means sturdy!"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags the boss' wife, stake, died, dead, funeral, casket, mallet, surprised, spouse, looking at dead body

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert says, "Do you think he's really dead?" Alice says, "I brought a wooden stake just in case." Dilbert says, "Me too, just in case the afterlife rejects him." Wally says, "It's legal, right?" Alice says, "Uh-oh." Dilbert says, "Spouse?" Wife says, "Did anyone think to bring a mallet?"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags heaven, hell, helvin, died, angels, demons, union, outsource, scared, harp, unsure, halo

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss says, "I think I died. Am I in heaven or hell?" Raj says, "You're in Helvin. My name is Raj." Raj says, "Heaven and hell have been outsourcing souls to us since the demons and angels unionized." The Boss says, "So? is this place good or bad?" Raj says, "Well, you get a harp, but you won't like how we give it to you."