The boss says, "I hired my unemployed golf buddy to consult." Dilbert says, "What are his qualifications?" The boss says, "He has two qualifications: He's unemployed and he's a golf buddy." Man says, "I recommend firing the whistleblower and playing nine before it gets dark."
The boss says, "How are your kids?" Tina says, "I don't have any kids." The boss says, "Are you sure?" Tina says, "That's the sort of thing I'd remember." The boss says, "Maybe they?re hiding." Tina says, "Be wrong! Just be wrong!"
Wally says, "Can I work from home? There are too many distractions in the office." The boss says, "Don't you have just as many distractions at your house?" Wally says, "Not unless my idiot couch starts questioning all of my great suggestions."