Dilbert.com by Scott Adams

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags environment, cups, paper, hot, ridiculous, animal, shocked, crazy

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The boss says, "Our company had replaced styrofoam cups with paper cups to save the planet." The boss says, "They work just as well if you use a dead squirrel as an oven mitten." The boss says, "This one still has some fight left in him."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags assignment, useless, questioning, ridiculous

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The boss says, "Dilbert, I want you to audit the software we have on our systems." Dilbert says, "Why?" The boss says, "So we know what we have." Dilbert says, "Who will use the information?" The boss says, "It's just important to have." DIlbert says, "It will be out of date before I'm even done." The boss says, "Do your best." Dilbert says, "The best way to compile inaccurate information that no one wants is to make it up." The boss says, "I hope no one ever comes here to learn our best practices."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags enticing, brochure, trick, refusal, ideas, annoyed

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Asok says, "Hi Graybeard. I brought you a brochure for a great retirement home." Graybeard says, "I'm only 52. I'm not going to retire just so you can get promoted into my job." Asok says, "Risky adventure?"