Dilbert.com by Scott Adams

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags cooked books, pension fund, 15% per year, crooks, optimists, whistling noise, soul escaping

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert says, "I cooked the books by assuming your pension fund will earn 15% per year." Pension Fund 15% Dogbert says, "Technically you aren't crooks, just optimists." Tweet! Mmph! Tweet! Dogbert says, "If you hear a whistling noise, that would be your soul escaping through your nose."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags financial bakery, abuse, zero units, cook books, foot notes, smell like feet

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert says, "Welcome to 'Dogbert's Financial Bakery.' How may I abuse you?" A man says, "We shipped zero units this quarter. Can you cook our books?" Dogbert says, "Of course." The man says, "Will anyone know?" Dogbert says, "Sometimes the footnotes smell like actual feet."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags ergonomically correct, evil director, human services, job perfomance, chairs, wellness related

View Transcript

Transcript

Catbert: Evil Director of Human Resources Catbert says, "Our concern for wellness is related to your job performance." Catbert says, "Obviously you won't be getting an ergonomically correct chair any time soon." Catbert says, "And feel free to type as hard as you want."