Dilbert.com by Scott Adams

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags court room, judge, lawyer, ceo, witness, defendant, die die die, admits guilt, first question, legal

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Dogbert says, "Where were you on the day that Dilbert was pushed out of your office window?" The CEO says, "I was directly behind him, in this position, yelling 'die, die, die!'" The CEO says, "The first question is just practice, right?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags jury selection, big eyebrows, dumb as you look, manipulate, love, relationships

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Jury selection Dogbert says, "You with the big eyebrows, are you as dumb as you look?" A man says, "I'm not sure. I don't remember what I look like." Dogbert says, "Okay, you're in. And on an unrelated noted, I'm the only person who ever loved you."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags lawsuit, represent in lawsuit, one condition, do everything, without hesitation

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Dilbert says, "Will you represent me in my lawsuit against my CEO?" Dogbert says, "Under one condition." Dogbert says, "You must do everything I ask, without question or hesitation." Dilbert says, "What if you tell me to do painful things for your amusement?" "Dogbert says, "If?"