Dilbert.com by Scott Adams
Tuesday June 03,
2008
Tags cure uselessness, glass hammer, bag of nothing, borrow a pen
Transcript
Catbert says, "Wally, I enrolled you in a program to cure uselessness." Catbert says, "Your classmates will be a glass hammer and a bag of nothing." Wally says, "Can I borrow a pen?" A bag says, "Dude, no arms."
Monday June 02,
2008
Tags bleed people, living and dead, awkward
Transcript
The Boss: Wally, in the past month you've blamed your lack of productivity on seven dead people and three who never existed." Wally: I used to blame living coworkers but it made the meetings awkward. The Boss: Whose fault is that? Wally: Here comes the awkward part.
Sunday June 01,
2008
Tags behind schedule, defective equipment, improbable event, reliable vendor, sales guy, golfing, bought hat, impossible boss, on the hook
Transcript
The Boss says, "I can't give you a raise because your project is behind schedule." Dilbert says, "That's because the vendor delivered defective equipment." The Boss says, "It is your job to anticipate that sort of problem and head it off." Dilbert says, "It isn't possible to anticipate and head off every improbable event." The Boss says, "Well, you could have picked a more reliable vendor." Dilbert says, "You told me to use this vendor because the sales guy took you golfing and bought you a hat." The Boss says, "Well, you should have seen that coming and burned down all hat factories a year ago." Dilbert says, "He would have bribed you another way." The Boss says, "That's what lazy people say."


