Dilbert.com by Scott Adams

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags woman, confides, sad story, piano fell on head, dilbert laughs, killed brother

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Woman: I used to have a brother, but a piano fell on his head. Dilbert: Hee hee!" Dilbert: Sometimes I laugh at the wrong times.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags code monkey, dreams, evil director, less work, software simian, architect, engineering

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Catbert: Evil director of human resources Wally: I'd like to change my job title to something with 'architect' in it. My dream is to do less work while allegedly being more valuable. Catbert: The best I can do is 'code monkey. Wally: How about 'software simian'?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags borrow pen, company like family, culture, search computer, sign docuemnt, test for dugs, trust and respect, manipulate

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CatBert: This company is like a family. Our culture is based on trust and respect. Now sign this document that says we can test you for drugs and search your computer and your office. Man: Can I borrow your pen? Catbert: Do I look like Bill and Melinda Gates?"