CEO: "Alice, your resume is impressive." "Tell me why you want to be promoted to management."
Alice: "Well. Obviously there's the money and prestige." "I'm also attracted by the prospect of doing much less work." "The opportunity to abuse subordinates is a big plus." "And I speak fluent Managerese. Watch this..." "Fuh fuh fuh fuh fuh"
Dilbert: "Did you really want that job?"
Alice: "No, but I love interviewing!"
Ratbert: What kind of party are we having for New Year's Eve?
Dilbert: "Why would I celebrate an arbitrary calendar event?"
Ratbert: "Suddenly I don't feel so bad about using your hairbrush as a loofah."
The Boss: "Alice, I got your two weeks' notice." "Will you stay if I give you a 20% raise?"
Alice: "Okay." "Hey dad, do you remember you said I should never be a quitter? You do? Well, it turns out that you're a moron."