Dilbert.com by Scott Adams

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags project staus report, infinity

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The Boss: When will I get your project status report? Dilbert: "You're asking for a status report on the status of the status report?" The Boss: "Right. When can I get that?" Dilbert: "It's starting to look like infinity."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags bar code scanner, lab tests, capital budget, varainace, three bids, form a team, purchase order, quitters

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"I need a $1,600 handheld bar code scanner to finish my lab tests." "Okay. Apply for a capital budget variance, prepare an RFP, get three bids, form a team to evaluate the bids, then prepare a purchase order." "Never mind. I'll just learn how to read bar codes by sight." "Quitter."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags rebalance 401k, new starategy, element of surprise

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The Boss: Our new strategy has never worked for anyone before. "That will give us the element of surprise." "Let's get started!" Dilbert: "Can I rebalance my 401(k) first?"