Dilbert.com by Scott Adams
Sunday July 15,
2007
Tags unqualified, position, job, higher salray, negotiate riase, irrational dipwad, easily manipulated, bogus compariosns, illusion of scaricity, can't have you, desparate to hire, rationalizations, total lack of qaulifications, write the offer, business
Transcript
"No offense, but you're totally unqualified for this position." Wally: "That's okay. I already have a job." "I just need a job offer at a higher salary so I can use it to negotiate for a raise." Wally: "My boss is an irrational dipwad who is easily manipulated by bogus comparisons and the illusion of scarcity." Wally: "Your offer will make him think my value is much higher than it actually is." "Great. Now that I know I can't have you, I desperately want to hire you." "My mind is already forming rationalizations for your total lack of qualifications!" "How do you turn this off?!!" Wally: "I'll tell you after you write the offer."
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Saturday July 14,
2007
Tags evil director, human resources, new policy, no d drinking coffee, remove all doubt, policies, evil, honesty, ruining the moment, business
Transcript
Catbert, evil director of human resources Catbert: "Our new policy is no drinking coffee during work." "That should remove all doubt that our policies are designed for any reason other than evil." Dilbert: "Your honesty is refreshing." Catbert: "Stop ruining the moment!!!"
Friday July 13,
2007
Tags internal phone lists, excellent reasons, policy, random policy generator, suspicious, not helpful
Transcript
"You're not allowed to have internal phone lists on your wall." "There are excellent reasons for this policy, and I hope to someday know what they are." "They're getting suspicious about the random policy generator." spoit!

