Dilbert.com by Scott Adams

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags simulation, productivity, workforce, pandemic

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The Boss: Run a simulation of our productivity if we lost half our workforce to a pandemic. Dilbert: "Should I assume we lose the productive people or the people who ask other people to run pandemic simulations?" The Boss: "Try both ways?" Dilbert: "Okay. I'm done."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags forehead, pasword, wrote down, forget, 123, can't see, asks, memory, foregtful, skin, ink

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The Boss: "What does my forehead say?" "I keep forgetting my password, so I wrote it on my head." Dilbert: "Is your password 123?" The boss: "I just said I don't know."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags passion for job, ceo's visit, meeting, condescending, rented mules, intimidate, corproartions, afford luxury items, ping pong table, no raise, offend, belitte, pay dosparity, slavery, business

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CEO Visit CEO: "It's important that you have a passion for your job." "For example, my passion involves working you like rented mules so I can afford to purchase luxury items." "I bought a ping-pong table with the raise you didn't get."