Dilbert.com by Scott Adams

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"I spent my entire day planning and scheduling future work, and no time doing work." "Tomorrow I plan to spend the entire day explaining why I didn't have time to do work." "It hurts less if I call it a plan." "What happens if you call it your purpose?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

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Company Lawyer "I did a trademark search on all of the excellent product names you suggested." "Every one of them is taken." "So I did a search on the names that weren't so great." "Those are taken, too." "Then I checked on the names iCrud, iPuke, EatDirtAndDie, and DefectiveProduct." "All taken." "So our new product name will be a combination of grunts and shrieks." "Like this? GrrrrrEeeyYaaa?" "That one is taken. Ours sounds more like a monkey passing a kidney stone."

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You wrote last year's date on this report. Ha ha! Swift. "I enjoy pointing out your mistakes because it makes me feel better about myself." "I wrote this last year." "This will go faster if you say you didn't."