Dilbert.com by Scott Adams

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

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"Is it true that you allowed a vampire to run the blood drive?" "Yes, and it takes a big man to admit he's wrong." "You admit you were wrong?" "I decided to lose weight."

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"Vlad is here to tell us why it's so important to donate blood." "Blood is totally delicious and I'm too lazy to bite necks." "You're not with the Red Cross, are you." "Competition is healthy too."

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All attempts to train you have failed. "But I don't want to fire you because there's a hiring freeze and I can't backfill." "So I've decided to scale back your responsibilities." "Where do you want these?"